Mehalje: Why didn’t you name me Paris?
Me: You wanted to be named Paris? Why?
Mehalje: Because I think it’s a lovely name!
Chris: Well, I like Mehalje better than Paris.
Mehalje: Could you just use Paris as my first name and Mehalje as another one of my names?
Alaska (just tuning into the conversation): Mehalje is your middle name?
Mehalje: […]
Me: I think I could use a massage.
Chris: I wish I could help you with that, I really do.
Me: No, seriously. Haven’t you heard about the new bill that was passed? You’re now required by law to give me a massage on demand.
Chris: Yeah… unfortunately that doesn’t go into effect until November 29th.
Me: Oh really? […]
Me: Do you remember what had me laughing so hard the other day?
Chris: What?
Me: We were standing right over there and I was laughing so much I couldn’t catch my breath.
Chris: What was I doing?
Me: I can’t remember exactly, but you were acting like an idiot.
Chris: That happens everyday. You’re gonna have to narrow it […]
Me: Hmmm… whatcha eating there? Something smells good.
Chris: Wheat Chex with homemade strawberry preserves.
Me: What? And that’s breakfast? That’s just a bowl of sugar.
Chris: Well, I used Splenda in the milk.
Me: Right, because we all know that Splenda not only has zero calories, it actually removes them from other ingredients, too.
Chris: Exactly.
[…]
The other night our family was out and about and we stopped at Sheetz to get some snacks and drinks. I had a small travel mug with me and I went in to fill it up with ice water.
“Can I get some water in this?” I asked the clerk.
“Sure, but I have to charge you […]
