Imperfect Genius

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Approach #1
When we first began homeschooling our daughter, we fell into the trap of “here’s what your child should be doing right now”. There are lots of manuals and guidebooks that give lists of what children should know by age 5, or what they should be learning in 2nd grade.

At first, I was happy to have these resources. Hmmm, it says she has to learn to add and subtract to 10 this year and she has to know about Pocahontas and George Washington, too. I was thinking, Great, I have a place to start and I know what we have to accomplish.

However, this approach was met with tears and resistance. I hadn’t stopped to take my daughter’s abilities, learning style, or interests into account. She wasn’t ready to learn to read, but we pushed anyway because we felt it was what she needed to be doing. Eventually we realized that our efforts weren’t helping her learn to read, they were causing her to detest books. Eek, who wants to be the cause of that?

Approach # 2
I’d read quite a bit about unschooling and the reading experience with Mehalje just confirmed my new knowledge – children aren’t going to learn unless they are ready, and we can’t apply force to this process to make it happen sooner. I’d also agreed with the idea that it’s ridiculous to expect all children to learn certain things at the same time and in the same order.

So we dropped the reading lessons altogether and crossed our fingers, hoping we hadn’t done any permanent damage. Natural learning was a good fit with her, and soon we quickly fell towards a relaxed, unstructured approach.

I was eager to get to know others in the unschooling community, so I joined a few lists for unschoolers. It was then that I learned that some unschoolers shunned anything that resembled school materials. Worksheets were a big no-no and forget using a textbook! I was taken aback by this, as I had always assumed that unschooling meant following the lead of your child, which might mean doing worksheets if that’s what he or she enjoyed.

I read a few unschooling books, such as Teach Your Own by John Holt, and I felt reassured in our approach. However, I tended to shy away from traditional materials after that, although I still found myself looking longingly through textbooks and similar resources.

I figured out that what I like about textbooks is that it gives a built-in planning tool. I’d have a general idea of what we would cover in the next six months or year. I’m not good at pulling together resources at the last minute, it’s actually very stressful to me, so the progressive nature of textbooks gave me a basic plan and a comfort level. For a while I shunned these because I truly wanted to embrace unschooling, and I thought they had no place in this. But I began to realize that perhaps I needed a slightly more structured approach, even if my kids were fine without it.

Approach # 3
This year we’re trying things a little differently. I came to the conclusion that there has to be a compromise. I cannot completely change my approach to life and learning, and yet, at the same time, I cannot expect my children to change, either. Going 100% in either direction isn’t fair to us as a family. I spent a long time thinking about how to achieve a balance.

I realized that we have many things in common. I like interest-led learning because it means that we’re exploring something that they’re excited about and thoroughly engaged in. I’ve learned this way my whole life – when I am interested in something, I soak it up like a sponge. If I’m not interested, but I’m forced to stay on the topic anyway, then I struggle to stay focused, the facts don’t stick with me as long, and I eventually grow to dislike the subject entirely.

Unschooling has taught me that children can and do learn what they need to when given the freedom to explore learning on their own terms. Long ago I stopped thinking of myself as my children’s teacher, and instead adopted the role of facilitator.

I want them to “own” their learning experiences, but I also want to achieve a state of readiness so I don’t have to stress out about gathering resources at the last minute. This means investing in a general outline of what we’ll cover over a particular period.

To this end, I considered what topics Mehalje enjoyed, what she’s expressed interested in exploring, and also what materials were available at her ability level. I’ve noticed that, in general, books and other resources tend to follow a grade level curve. If most schools cover the solar system in third grade, then most books are written for third graders. She’s often interested in topics that are several grades ahead and sometimes it’s difficult to find resources that are suitable.

I like having a basic idea of what we’ll cover. Rather than trying to conform to any one curriculum, I’ve tried to locate books and materials that fit into our approach. In many cases I found great resources but there are a few instances where I could not find just the right thing, so I’ve decided to create our own.

Science is one example – all the textbooks I looked at for her age and reading level are incredibly basic. I am struck by how very little schools actually engage in science in the elementary years. On the other hand, the materials written for homeschoolers are very scattered in their design and don’t give an in-depth survey of science topics or they, too, are very simplistic in nature. The other problem I’ve encountered is that often these materials don’t relate to her interests.

So I started writing my own science “textbook” that caters to her learning style and interests. I’ve written 38 pages so far, using text that explains science concepts and introduces new vocabulary. I’ve supplemented this with charts, activities, pictures, and graphs. She’ll also make use of videos, do experiments, and keep a nature journal as these things appeal to her.

We each have to find what works for our families. It’s pointless to try and adhere to someone else’s idea of what homeschooling or unschooling looks like. There is no one “right way”. This new approach might not work, but one of the joys of being homeschoolers is that we can continue to refine our methods to better suit everyone. And along the way we learn quite a bit!

Tags: Homeschooling | Curriculum | Natural Learning