Thursday, July 6th, 2006...3:11 am

Things I’ll Never Say

Jump to Comments
Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things You’ll Never Hear Me Say

1) “When you decide to paint a picture please leave the paper spotless and instead use the desk, chair, dog, and floor as your canvas. They all need a little splash of color.”

2) “When I am on the phone it would be great if you could immediately start fighting and then come scream in my free ear. That’d be awesome.”

3) “Barney is the best. I love him and all his big, adorable purpleness.”

4) “Can we install some type of device on our car that makes us get worse gas mileage? $40 at the pump just doesn’t seem like enough.”

5) “I think I should stop reading books for fun. There are so many other worthy things I could be doing with my time, like washing the dishes.”

6) “No, I don’t want to move to the tropics and live by the ocean. Sand between my toes and warm breezes? Are you kidding me? Seriously, stop talking about it. You’re stressing me out.”

7) “Can we watch Alien vs Predator again? Please, just one more time?”

8) “Next time we buy a house could we remodel it for at least 2 years before we move in? I like having two mortgage payments.”

9) “Look, I know that one says ‘organic’ but this one has more ingredients. See, it has sodium nitrate, red 40, BHT, and artificial flavorings. It’s clearly the better buy.”

10) “Massages are such a waste of time. I’d rather pick up rocks all day.”

11) “Whatever happened to taking pictures the old fashioned way? It was so simple back then - buy lots of film, take pictures of the special moments in life and pay more money to get back blurry, grainy prints. Ah, I miss those days.”

12) “I wish presidents could run for three terms. Bush deserves another four years. I regret not voting for him those last two times, he’s done such an outstanding job.”

13) “I think we need to collect more animals that shed. I don’t get enough hair in my diet.”

** Idea for this list inspired by Notes From the Trenches and Jurgen Nation, two blogs that rock.

* Get the TT Code * Tags: |

22 Comments

Filed under Thursday Thirteen

22 Comments